The cat distribution system works in mysterious ways…like when you're just doing some simple weeding at a country club closed down for the summer, and you hear a distant squeak coming from under a porch. Just like the landscaper in the story below, you'd probably stop what you were doing to see what's going on. He was minding his own business when a beautiful white furred, blue eyed cat stared at him from under the porch. He called the country club he was working on and was informed they had closed for the season, and they won't be open for another half year at least. He calls the local shelters to see if anyone's reported a missing kitty, and even called a nearby friend in the area to see if he had any information.
After 10 minutes of putting little meats in front of the cat from his leftover pizza, she crawled out and came to him. He's now the fresh cat daddy to a little cutie.
Wait, please hold on. We were supposed to start another cat memes batch, but the cat decided to fight the curtains. Again. It's the third time this week… We don't know what in the curtains makes the cat think they're mortal enemies, that the curtains must be shredded to pieces, but apparently they just are. Oh no, this coo-coo cat is now parkouring to the counter to push off some mugs. Please, Mr. Cat, just please let the mugs live to see another day, we promise we'll give you another treat and- never mind. The cat pushed them all off. Without breaking eye contact. The audacity.
Pawrents who raise crazy cats know the situation closely. Raising a ruckus of a cat isn't easy, but if there's one certain thing we can all hold on to - is that it's also hissterically hilarious. When cats get into their coo-coo crazy cat mode, the humans around burst out laughing like it's the best stand-up comedy show they've ever seen. Sure, you might need to replace your curtains, or say goodbye to your favorite mug, but you definitely got a good laugh out of it.
And that's where weirdo cat memes come in, in all their glory - they bring this coo-coo cat energy wherever they are. And luckily for us, for you, for all of humanity - the internet is immediate. You can watch the craziness from your phone. Scroll down, you weirdo, surround yourself with the hissterical cat comedy of these crazy cats.
"Foster Fail" is such a weird phrase to use. It has some negative connotation, using the word "fail" - but that's actually such a wholesome, heartwarming, and cute thing. You see, in the online feline family, a foster fail just means something like "I tried to find you a home, little one, but it seems you've already found one - right here with me". A foster fail is actually an adoption success. So, despite the negative connotation one might think of initially, we're actually very fond of reading about these supposed foster fails. They warm our hearts like the warm and fuzzy felines who get adopted.
It's not that rare to think you're meant to be a foster pawrent, a temporary solution for a cute cat before they move on and settle in their true furrever home. When the Cat Distribution System sends a delightful delivery your way, especially if your house and heart are already full of the feline family you raise at home, you can't be 100% sure if you're meant to be a foster or a permanent. And this was the exact deliberation of this caring couple with a stray kitten who was rejected by her mother.
It's hard saying "no" to a crying kitten in need, especially now when winter is getting close. Cats might get stuck outside in a storm, and they need the shelter, the warmth, and the love. So they decided to foster… until the foster adorably failed. We're happy to know this foster failed, but the adoption succeeded.
Buffy reaches up and accidentally knocks the books off.
Buffy: Woah, oh. (They fall on the head of a young man crouched underneath. He staggers back but recovers.) Oh, ahh. Oh god, I'm so sorry.
He stands up.
Riley: I'm okay. It's okay. Well, that was bracing.
Ah. A little delving shows me that the person I remember as doing pioneering research on the subject, published around the late 90s, and also involved in intersex activism, has become A Figure of Controversy and I think we probably do not mention them.
That Hitler himself had a condition that was discovered and named by a Jewish man who also held some responsibility for the scientifically misguided murderous policies of the Nazis is at least a reflection that history is often imbued with a sense of complex and confusing irony.
In this way, the Body Cult serves as a targeted form of mind-control. It is a mental sand trap, a hazard carefully constructed to keep women disenfranchised in two primary ways: first, by restricting the most powerful means of modern influence (money); second, by atrophying our mental faculties until we are small-minded, powerless things (terminal SMOL BEAN / tumblr BABY DEER syndrome). This is a Substack link.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Adelita Grijalva being sworn in by an unhappy Mike Johnson—picture by Jack Gruber of USA Today
Hi, all, and happy Thursday.
I’ve missed you! I took Tuesday off for Veterans Day and yesterday was, as usual, a no-newsletter Wednesday, but it feels like it’s been longer than two days. To say that it’s been an eventful 48 hours is an understatement. I’m grateful that I don’t feel obligated to summarize all of the news here, because right now there’s simply too much of it to cover.
Three big tranches worth mentioning briefly, however, would be:
The Epstein emails drop (!!), Trump’s unprecedented pressure campaign against Boebert and MTG, Adelita Grijalva’s swearing in, her signing the discharge petition, and the announcement by scores and scores of Republican House members that they will vote yes on the actual bill when it comes up for a vote next week.
Any one of these would be an entire newsletter in and of itself, but instead of pontificating on news you can read about elsewhere I’ll do what I usually do and just get you to work doing something about it.
Before I do, though, I did want to clarify something about the Epstein files, as there seems to be a great deal of confusion on the subject.
The emails released yesterday were not part of the “Epstein files” as we understand them. They were released to the House Oversight Committee by the Epstein estate. The timing of their release is interesting, and surely isn’t coincidental, but it was not directly related to Grijalva’s swearing in or the final signature being obtained on the discharge petition.
The “Epstein files” that victims, advocates, and all of us are demanding to see are an enormous cache of evidence in the possession of the FBI and DOJ. It likely contains the same emails the Epstein estate just released, but there is much, much more as well—including photographs and videos, depositions, legal testimony, and victim statements. Those files are the ones in which the truly damning evidence lies, and it it those the Trump administration is feverishly trying to suppress.
So, you may ask, now that Adelita Grijalva has put the 218th signature on that document will we see them?
Not immediately. Because remember, the discharge petition simply enables the bill’s authors to go around Mike Johnson and force a House vote on the Epstein Files Transparency Act. That vote will now happen next week, and the bill will pass by a wide margin. But it then needs to go to the Senate, where Majority Leader Thune will have to agree to bring it to a vote. If he does, and that’s a huge if, it will need to pass there. Then Trump would need to sign it. He won’t, obviously, so then the House and Senate will need to vote to override his veto.
That’s a lot of steps, and we could get held up at any one of them. But every time a Republican blocks a step there will be absolute hell to pay, politically. We may learn that Republicans’ will to keep obstructing this investigation is evaporating as the political cost becomes prohibitive, and—and this is important—as Trump continues to hemorrhage support.
It is our job, then, to make sure that they keep feeling the pressure.
So yes, we have our work cut out for us, but my sense is that the damn is breaking on Trump, the Epstein coverup, and all the rest of it as well.
So have courage, my friends. We’re in the thick of the fight, but we have the bigger army, the more advantageous ground, and the greater determination to win.
Which is why, eventually, we will.
Let’s get to work.
P.S. — I’m doing an Instagram Live with Tennessee Congressional candidate Aftyn Behn at noon PT /3PM ET today. You can watch on my Instagram channel at @jesscraven101. (More on Aftyn below!)
Practivist Pod 🎤
This week on the Practivist Pod Steve and I discuss the Epstein news, the deal that reopened the government, and what happens next with healthcare. Then Steve talked about how safe our voting systems actually are with the President and CEO of Verified Voting, Pamela Smith. It’s a super interesting and informative interview! Watch here or listen here.
Hi, I’m a constituent calling from [zip]. My name is ______.
First, I am furious that the bill to reopen the government included a provision to allow eight Republican Senators to sue for potentially millions of dollars because their phones got searched by the DOJ in 2021. How dare they? Hungry people are still waiting for their SNAP payments. People are losing their healthcare. And we’re giving super wealthy Senators millions of dollars for no reason? This is corrupt and unacceptable. Congress needs to pass a bill revoking this provision immediately.
Also, when the Esptein files Transparency Act comes to the Senate I expect the Senator to vote yes. And I expect him/her to put pressure on Majority Leader Thune to bring it for a vote immediately. Trump is a protector of pedophiles. Americans need the full truth about what else he may have done. Thanks.
Hi, I’m a constituent calling from [zip]. My name is _______.
First, I am furious that the bill to reopen the government included a provision to allow eight Republican Senators to sue for potentially millions of dollars because their phones got searched by the DOJ. How dare they? Hungry people are still waiting for their SNAP payments. People are losing their healthcare. And we’re giving super wealthy Senators millions of dollars for no reason?This is corrupt and unacceptable. I understand Mike Johnson has said he will introduce a bill to revoke this provision. I want the Congressmember to support it.
Also, when the Esptein files Transparency Act comes to the floor I expect the Congressmember to vote yes. Trump is a protector of pedophiles. Americans need the full truth about what else he may have done. Thanks.
Extra Credit ✅
On November 5th, management at Conde Nast illegally fired four members of The News Guild union, and suspended five others, for participating in federally protected union activity. Union organizers asked company execs to explain the downsizing of Teen Vogue and continued layoffs resulting from that plan.
Not only is this consolidation a move that seems designed to blunt the award-winning magazine’s insightful journalism at a time when it’s most needed, but the firing of the union leaders who approached the head of Human Resources to seek answers breaks federal labor law and violates the “just cause” provisions in the union’s contracts governing how represented workers are disciplined and terminated.
Please sign this petition to tell Conde Nast bosses to reinstate the Fired Four, reverse the suspensions, and end the union-busting.
Get Smart! 📚
LEARN HOW TO HELP PROTECT FUTURE ELECTIONS! November 13, at 5pm PT/8pm ET.
It’s well-known that Donald Trump is gearing up to disrupt, subvert or corrupt the 2026 elections. There are robust, coordinated efforts underway to counter some of his most likely and destructive tactics, but less attention has been focused on the possibility that Trump might try to meddle with the vote count.
That’s why Indivisible Action Coalition is organizing a series of webinars to empower Indivisible members to organize, prepare, and protect their local communities’ votes in 2026.
The program will share practical solutions that can be accomplished by working with local election officials. It will feature election experts including Marilyn Marks, executive director of Coalition for Good Governance, and Susan Greenhalgh, senior advisor for election security at Free Speech For People, as well as other leading subject matter experts.
When you register you will receive the Zoom link via email within a day or so. And please share with your friends especially those in other states. All are welcome.
As of today, Starbucks Workers United is officially on strike. STARBUCKS IS NOW BEHIND A PICKET LINE, Y’ALL! Please do not buy Starbucks anywhere until the company, which is wildly profitable, (and whose CEO made 96 millions dollars last year), negotiates an agreement with this union.
Indivisible is having an ALL IN FOR AFTYN BEHN event tonight! Ezra Levin will be speaking. It’s going to be great! Please come and find out how you can support her run for TN-07! It’s tonight from 8-9 ET.
What began as a series of unauthorized lethal strikes in the Caribbean now has us at the brink of all-out war in Venezuela.
Continued military action without congressional authorization – especially when crucial questions about who has even been targeted and the actual threat they posed to the United States remain unanswered – amounts to alarming executive overreach. Congress must reassert its constitutional war powers and keep us from launching another decades-long, endless war.
I urge you to pass a War Powers Resolution to prevent war with Venezuela. I will continue to follow this issue closely.
OK, you did it again! You’re helping to save democracy! You’re amazing.
Talk soon.
Jess
Chop Wood, Carry Water is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
The main plotline of the video game The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017) alone -- with no sidequests, exploration, minigames, or collections -- takes ~50 hours. So, roughly, 2 old-fashioned US TV seasons of 22-26 episodes or 3-4 epic Peter Jackson movies. Here's that plot, summarized:
alive internet theory is a séance with this living internet. Resurrecting tens of millions of digital artifacts from the Internet Archive, visitors are immersed in a relentless barrage of human expression as they travel through the life of the web as we created it—every image, video, song, and text uploaded by a real person on the web. [CW: autoplaying; may include NSFW materials]
Fuckinggotchardbox is a small gift-giving event for the little Black Saturn friend group that regularly comes to this community. feel free to participate if you're an outsider, but please know that our requests are likely to be very insular and may consist of silly inside jokes and other weird references.
this is a very low-key event, so the below schedule will be pretty loose and we're kind of just doing what we want.
contrary to the title, this is not an event focused solely on kamen rider gotchard; sonofgodzilla joked about it in DMs with me (luckyzukky) and we are going with it for the bit. feel free to request any fandoms.
schedule
requests: November 15 to November 21 gifting: November 21 to December 26 reveals: December 26
comment your requests on this post, we're not doing individual posts per participant because this is not big enough for that
also this event is open to non-fic gifts, such as icons, graphics, fanmixes, and more! this is fic-focused but don't be discouraged!
honestly just request however you want, but if you do want a template then follow this:
Fandom: Character(s) & Relationship(s): Prompt(s): Do Not Want(s):
you can also leave a DNW (do not want) list at the top/bottom of your request instead of one DNW section per fandom.
we're all friends so this should go without saying but please don't write someone's DNW lol we do not want to have to put on the mod hat but we will if it comes to that
fills
all comments are screened until reveals, but requests will be un-screened ASAP.
comment your fill in full as a reply to each request comment on the request post. there might be a post gathering all fills at the end of the event if we feel like it. if you want to help us out, make the subject line of your fill comment include the fill title, fandom, and character/ship involved.
there are no hard minimum or maximum restrictions for this event because again it's low-key af
if you're here you're probably on superlove so consider gifting your fill to the recipient on there!
"Unfortunately, companies ... [take] legal amounts of THC from hemp and [turn] it into intoxicating substances," Mitch McConnell said on the Senate floor Monday. These companies then market it to children in 'candy-like packaging' and sell it in "easily accessible places like gas stations," he said.
Is this true? Are edibles sold over the counter at your local convenience store? And does THC derived from Delta-8 find its way into the gummies and vape cartridges sold in my rec-legal state?
Just so you don't get any more wild ideas, Mitch, no, No one is giving your kids Marijuana Edibles in their Halloween Candy (according to Norml, but what do they know)
My crow story is out today in Beneath Ceaseless Skies! The Crow's Second Tale is what happens when you mull over crow-related song and story a bit too long, or maybe just long enough. If you need or prefer a podcast version, that's available too, narrated by the amazing Tina Connolly. Hope you enjoy either way.
(I had originally written "a murder for" a particular abstract noun, but you know what, I don't want to spoil what abstract noun it was, go read if you want to know!)
By now everyone knows that the House of Representatives is going to vote on the discharge petition to release the Epstein files - and it's going to take Trump down. What is Trump going to do?
What can we do? CALL. If you can, call your Senators and Congressperson and tell them NO WAG THE DOG! If you're not familiar with the expression, it's when a leader makes a sudden move to distract from something politically bad for them. In this case, Trump is going to send our soldiers to die in a foreign war to take the focus off of him and try and negate the imminent Epstein files release.
Do what you can!
The Capitol switchboard where you can call and ask for your Senators & Congressperson is: (202) 224-3121
I feel a bit embarrassed to mention this balcony, because it's named after me.
However, it is a perennially favorite visiting spot for Emorian visitors. You may see it, at a distance, as you are leaving the palace grounds; it is the balcony festooned with the Emorian royal colors.
It was here, in 976, that the Chara of Emor resided during the final days of the Emorian occupation. (I often visited his chamber during his stay - hence the name of the balcony.) It appeared at that time that the Koretians and Emorians would engage in bitter warfare with each other over Emor's lengthy occupation of Koretia. Instead, through the combined wisdom of the Jackal and the Chara, the Koretians and Emorians were able to reach a peace settlement. Since that time, this chamber has served as the residence for any visiting ambassadors from Emor.
On that peaceful note, we will leave behind the capital of Koretia.
[Translator's note: Once again, the Ambassador demonstrates his modesty, this time by failing to mention his own role in the peace settlement between Emor and Koretia. The full details are conveyed in Blood Vow. A somewhat different perspective on the peace settlement occurs in Law of Vengeance.]
Some screens I watched recently, in alphabetical order, all on Netflix:
Abstract: Each hour-long episode features a different artist in a different medium and examines their approach to making art. Totally fascinating. Highly recommended.
Another Life: Bad SF. I watched twenty minutes of this, but the writing was terrible, the world building vacuous, and my beloved Katee Sackhoff completely devoid of charisma. Does star that beardy Teen Wolf guy, though, if you're in the market.
Archer: I used to randomly watch this on FX, and so I sat down and started over at the beginning so I could see the whole thing. The comedy style is more insulting than I enjoy now, but I could listen to H. Jon Benjamin talk all day. This was also how I learned Jessica Walter died in 2021 and it hit me unexpectedly hard.
Diplomat: Watched season three, and it was so good I regretted not rewatching season one and two before the new season. Though how Kate hasn't figured out she's exactly like her husband is a hilarious mystery. Like the moment one of them isn't getting enough attention they do something completely fucked up. Highly recommended. Contains (in part): suicide.
Four Seasons: I felt pretty sure I wasn't going to be into these middle-age married people's problems (two white straight couples, and a mixed race gay couple), but it's Tina Fey so I had to try. I liked it more than I thought I would! It was a pleasant diversion and I liked the set up of two episodes per season (Earth seasons, not TV seasons) as these old friends get together for visits and vacations. Contains: divorce, grief.
High Town: Set in Provincetown, Massachusetts, and filled with drug use, drug dealers, party queers, depressed fishermen, and cops. High production value and a hot gay woman of color as a lead (Monica Raymund as Jack), but after an episode and a half I didn't care about any of the characters. It's no The Wire.
Wayward: Starring Mae Martin. Also created, written, and executive produced by Martin, so me with my Mae Martin problem spent the entire time very distracted. But, my love for Martin's beautiful pointy face aside, this drama/thriller about a small town and its cult-like reform school lead by a chillingly maternalistic Toni Collette is very watchable. Also gory, violent, upsetting, and pointlessly set in the early 2000s, but the dog makes it. Recommended. Contains: drug use, shitty parents, child harm/death.
Wick is Pain: I've never seen a single John Wick movie, but I enjoyed this behind the scenes look at how action films get made, particularly this series with its signature gun fu style and, of course, Keanu Reeves, who does the majority of his own stunts and fighting and who is interviewed along with the directors, producers, and stunt personnel involved with the films. Contains: violence, guns, cinematic death of a dog.
The Woman in Cabin 10: Started this solely on the strength of Keira Knightley's presence, but even she couldn't rescue this glossy but limp woman-sees-something-alarming-but-literally-no-one-believes-her thriller. I watched this in twenty minute increments over three nights, swearing I was done with it every night until, on the third night, Keira Knightley did something so unforgivably stupid I immediately deleted it from my continue watching list.
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